I signed up a few days ago to Mote the Reader's Group for 10:00pm-10:30pm, Friday, 19 December 2008.

I wondered what I would do during the Moting period. I felt compelled to read from the American Book of the Dead. No particular reason was evident to me at that time. It just made sense. The moting.org website said to trust my intuition. Later, I toyed with the idea of reading from Beelzebub's Tales, but it didn't have the same compelling sensation behind it.

As Friday evening drew near, I noticed a reluctance toward moting the reader's group. I tossed the idea around for awhile. I wondered how to decide between moting and not moting. My girlfriend and I had been away from each other for the day. We then had a very powerful and difficult discussion over yahoo chat. I faced many facets of myself in the conversation. These facets were obvious to me before, but I had not been willing to face them.

Then, I thought I would just like to relax and watch "Breakfast of Champions" with her. The movie would have overlapped with the Moting of the reader's group. I checked my email. Christianne had written to ask if I would still be doing the moting. If not, no problem. I had an easy out. I wrote an email telling her that I would not be participating, and to reschedule me for the following Friday. There was a huge reluctance at sending the email. I decided to not send it yet. Then, I noticed a strong sense of duty toward doing the moting. Not guilt. Not a "should" or a "must." A strong sense of duty. The same sense I would feel if I saw a close friend drowning in the ocean. A sense that I could take a very necessary and useful action. Duty. Not obligation.

I was drawn toward relaxing with my girlfriend and watching the movie...or doing the moting safari and relaxing later on. Internal struggle.

Then, I checked my other email account for no reason at all. In that account, a woman I have not talked with since high school had just sent me the following message. (reproduced verbatim):

I had no idea that Kt. had been in the hospital. In fact, I had not seen her since 2006, at my 10 year high school reunion. We spoke occasionally on email after that, and then lost touch. Kt. and I share the same birthdate.

10pm approached. At exactly 9:52pm, Kr. sent a text message:

I began the reading immediately, with a strong focus and sense of purpose. The ideas presented in the ABD became very real to me, more than they had on my first readings of it. It was as if clouds had parted and the sun shone directly upon me. Whereas before, the ideas remained ideas, and not tangible sensations and knowledge.

My perception of moting shifted from one of experimentation to one of serious work. I felt supported and bolstered by the Pack of Green, the reader's group, going on at the same time.

At the darkest time of year, Clear Light.

Take care, and thanks for the efforts.

-Garrett